After any sort of break-up, nasty or not and whether it is divorce or just a break up, we are all forgiven for all kinds of disturbing things we do but only for just a season. You can feel sorry for yourself for nights on end, eat yourself to sleep, declare all men to be pigs, dogs and all manner of vile language at your disposal. However, after a bit, you cannot go on lying to yourself and expect to have even the least bit of happiness in your life. Here are some of the six lies most single women tell themselves until they begin to actually believe them which, they should just stop:
- They don’t care, matter of fact – it’s okay to be single for a while
How many times have you said this in your life time? Have you noticed though that the words only come out of your mouth during the time you are not with anyone and you’ve gone a while without a man in your life? Yes it is okay to be single sometimes, it can never be healthy to lead an existence where you are only whole if you have a man beside you. However, there should be a balance between your searching for yourself and going a whole year and more with noone. And don’t lie, nobody goes that long without caring that they are not with anyone. The sooner you admit this the better for everyone.
- There is no trend, he and all the rest of them were the problem
While it can never be polite to accuse a woman who’s just been dumped or has had to dump a guy because he was a dousche that she in fact had a part to play in how her relationship ended, after a while, one at least ought to be real with herself and do a serious and brutal introspection. And when you do this, not as a way to make you feel worse about yourself and go back grovelling to your ex, no! But as a way to make you a better person, you will find that there are things you did that could make any man leave you in a second. Dig a little deeper and you will find that it is probably a trend – two or three guys in a row before this one complained about the same thing or the relationships ended the same way. Sometimes it’s probably because you keep dating the same shallow minded kind of guy who just doesn’t understand the kind of woman you are, but sometimes too it’s because you really do have flaws that need fixing. Before your next relationship, it is in your best interest that you be real with yourself and whether or not you decide to change at least you know who you are and you won’t fall for someone who doesn’t accept you for that.
- The way you look doesn’t matter
Everybody knows that after a break-up, one MUST do a serious makeover. Not to make your ex jealous if you happen to bump into him (well yeah but that’s not all there is to it), but to give yourself a feeling of being a new person. A new person feels and does things differently and most certainly attracts more and varied men. But yes it does get a bit tiring if you’ve gone a whole six months or so looking hot but just not meeting Mr Right. We tend to give up right? And end up just wearing whatever – there’s no guy to impress anyway right? WRONG! Take good care of yourself woman! For you and the plus is that you never know when and where you might just bump into him hmmm.
- A good man will find you
Well how do you expect he will do that if you don’t at least meet him halfway? You are out of the house for school or work by 7am, spend the whole day at whatever institution, back home by six and all weekend you are in-doors. Honestly how do you expect to meet anyone leading such a life?
- Thinking that denying you are single will remove the fact
I caught myself doing that the one time. Someone asked if I was single, and instead of saying yes, I went into a whole narrative of how I had just broken up with someone, was taking a break, had just gone through a coupla flings… As soon as I was done I was like the hell? What was that? The answer is either yes or no. Denying that there is absolutely noone in your life at a particular moment will not remove the fact that there is noone. All it will do is just feed your delusions. Get over it! And accept the truth and actively do something about it!
6.That you don’t wanna settle
Keep at this hermit-like existence and very soon you will most definitely be settling for just about anything without even the slightest encouragement from anyone. Has it occurred to you that the reason you are alone might be because you have expectations too high? Hollywood and Mills&Boon men DO NOT EXIST! Well this side of the hemisphere anyway. And people aren’t perfect, everybody has flaws, stop looking for the impossible, it’s highly probable you are denying yourself happiness when it’s right in front of you.
So to all the single ladies, the single life can be fun and interesting – but just don’t get used to it, you might not like the end result.