No matter how close you are with someone, there are those secrets that you don’t wish to ever share with anyone. If possible, you would rather carry them with you to the grave than ever have to tell anyone. But also, there are important things you shouldn’t keep away from your spouse. Not just because it shows distrust but also because it hurts when someone you love keeps important information from you.
Secrets can damage a good relationship and you should thus aim to address the problem if you are dealing with a secretive partner. Instead of watching your relationship die, try these tips to deal with a secretive partner:
1. Lead by example
Now, if you are secretive, you don’t expect your partner to be open to you. So, if you want them to start opening up to you, you must also do the same. Maybe the reason your partner is keeping things away from you is that you do the same.
2. Be available
You need to ask yourself why your partner is keeping important information away from you. You need to let your partner know that they can trust you with their deepest secrets. That they will not feel judged when they share something with you and that their secrets are safe with you.
3. Tell them what you feel
You could also let your partner know how you feel about them holding secrets. Let them know that it’s not healthy for the relationship and remind them that they can always trust you with any information.
4. Understand them
How you behaved when your partner is telling you something will determine what they choose to tell you. If you never listen, they will assume you no longer care and will prefer to share with other people but not you. Each time they are talking to you, listen empathetically and show them that you understand.
5. Seek couple counseling
If you try all the above and they fail, the other option is seeking help from a relationship therapist in order to salvage your relationship.