Mike Sonko’s daughter Saumu Mbuvi has admitted to being in a toxic relationship with her Baby Daddy when she was only 21 years old.
Saumu who has been advocating for women to walk away from toxic relationships, opted to use herself as an example to paint a clear picture of an abusive relationship and the need to terminate it when things are not working.
She confessed that the relationship totally damaged her, subjecting her to depression pills as she was afraid to walk away due to the fear of being judged.
Fear of being judged
“Honestly, I’m not a relationship expert, all I was doing is research for some NGO…and I realized so many women are affected by this…
Let me use myself as an example, my first relationship I was only 21 young and naïve, thinking the relationship would lead to marriage. It totally damaged me and left me on depression pills for a while, the same fear of being judged is what I had until I choose myself and my child’s happiness over everything. Most women should know that if your kids see you physically abused all the time, all they will know is violence, it will damage them psychologically. My second relationship at 23, at least with a bit of experience, anything that involved violence, was a no for me. I was stronger and didn’t care how many would criticize me, my health and happiness come first and that of my daughter” shared Saumu Mbuvi.
Ms Mbuvi pointed out that most women are in toxic relationships because of fear of the unknown and losing their partners to someone else.
“Most women are in toxic relationships mostly because of one thing. Fear of the Unknown, Fear of being Judged, Fear being Lonely, Fear of losing your partner to someone else. Fear of being called a single mother. Fear of taking care of bills alone” said Ms Mbuvi.
Take your time
She also advised young girls not to rush things “Love knows no religion, it’s what makes us whole time for. Lifeis too short learn to put yourself first. To young girls don’t rush it, sometimes I say to myseld I wish I knew better. I had options of going on with my studies but at a certain age you think you know everthing, but you are wrong. Being so dependent on a person can also bring lack of respect, be street smart, hustle ni hustle, whether you are selling mitumba or handbags as long as you have something small for yourself.. with your own money no one can disrespect you".